Sentimental BS

Some days I wonder
Why I do what I do
Sit and stare
Go no where
Trashed dreams
Fake reality
Nothing will ever be the same
My past is the past
For a reason I can’t explain
Do I ever want it back
To the way it was
Am I glad I am here
Being the way I am
Because some days I wonder
Why I do what I do…

<3 Mrs D

I may be a bitch

Somedays I feel like a horrible friend. I try to be as honest as possible and tell it like I feel. And sometimes that hurts peoples feelings the whole mantra of if you can’t say something nice don’t say anything at all. Well, I wasn’t nice, and I felt bad, because the outcome was good, but she was still hurting. I know I’m being vague on this whole thing, but its like I A, don’t mention names really and B the guy she was dating was an insecure bastard who made her feel like crap on a daily basis. So I told her, suck it up and quit bitching or get out. I can’t support you in an emotionally abusive relationship. I’m sorry I won’t stand by it. I was abused growing up in too many relationships, emotionally and physically, and I won’t let one of my closest friends go through that.

So as an advocate of crappy situations, as I have stumbled on pretty much all of them, I will tell you if you look like crap, if your boyfriend sucks, or if you need a new job.

I just hate the outcome of how I feel afterwards and worry because someone is sad now, but will be better later…

<3 Mrs. D

Oh btw she wasn’t getting laid…after a month of the “monotonous” relationship

its really 630?!

so its 6:30 in the morning and I'm heading to work an hour early. why? cause I'm freakin swamped!! oh well at least I am looking pretty good if I say so myself. I'll hopefully have time to write later, but now I have to goto work.

<3 Mrs. D

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MKB Images

First I gotta say everyone needs to check out mkbimages.zenfolio.com It's my bestie who's amazing.
Second everyone needs to check out the "Casey D" folder on her site for my images. I had an amazing awesome time shooting with her. She is one of the best that I have worked with. And I'm not just saying that because I love the girl. Mica, the M in MKB, gives mild instruction and pointers and chooses the perfect scene and lightning. She tells you what looks good and what doesn't. Mica is still learning as a photographer but her skills with natural light and photographer and beyond par...that's my review.

So MKB & I will be working again in the near future & I'm super stoked, but I have to say if you want a family photo, senior photo, or just a lil something special for yourself or someone else you gotta check her out. She has the skills, the time, and the price is right.

Anyways....this is what happens when you just get done talking with your bestie, booked a shoot with her, and had a few margaritas...a loving blurb..

<3 Mrs. D

It's called running blind in the night

How can you slow down, when your mind is going 100 mph and you can't think straight? That's my...today, yesterday, the day before. I couldn't relax, I couldn't focux. I'm just go Go GO! I'm lucky I pulled out some decent shots at my photo shoot on Wednesday night, my mind wasn't in the moment, and that's probably the worst possible thing to have when you're trying to pose.
I'm glad I'm busy, but I want to feel like I can breath and all I feel like is that I'm missing something.
I'm angry
I'm upset
I want to cry
I want to scream
but I will trudge on....and hopefully when I get in my car I'll be OK as this work week will be over with.
I won't have dreams about the office or my job.
I won't think about what will come one Monday.
I will relax....just 30 min.

as always
<3 Mrs. D.

ps here's my photoshoot from Wednesday...I love Mica!! www.mkbimages.zenfolio.com I'm sure you can find me.

I've got that funny feeling

I’m ready for fall…just the temp and the clothes….I don’t want winter yet. I just want the cute boots, long sleeve dresses and leggings, the apple cider and hot chocolate that nip in the air. The leather jackets and the orange leaves. That’s all I want…just that September weather that will come and go in the blink of an eye. The smiles and the last bit of outdoor freedom we Rochestarians get for 6 – 8 months.
I guess I shouldn’t count my chickens too early as I don’t quite want summer to leave. So I’ll bide my time until those September October temperatures come and go and the awesome fall clothes appear.

This fall is actually going to be a blast, with the Pamper Me Pink Fashion Show, the Rochester Fashion Week Fashion Show, the 1st annual Daggett Halloween Party and the 1st annual Stein Farms Beerfest competition! Along with the normal Fairport scarecrow festival, trick or treaters, decorations, back to school for college and kids. I guess I just can’t wait.

<3 Mrs. D

Weekend Update

I haven’t blogged in a lil bit so I figured I should do an update or something along those lines.
This past weekend was eventful. Friday night after we finished off the 24 pack of beer we went out to the bar, only had one there, but still it was a riot. We haven’t been out in over a month so it was pretty good to see everyone. And then Sherriff A said that we should all go get garbage plates and since one of our friends hadn’t eaten dinner and Mr. D was hungry we took off to Fairport hots. Got home around midnight which isn’t too shabby?
I woke up Mr. D at 8am and off to the market we went. I picked up a breakfast enchilada and we got some spicy Thai pasta, which was delish when we made it for dinner on Sunday.
Saturday night a bunch of us went to Next Door for dinner for our friends bday then out to Taylor’s…lame…then we took off to Tilt for an awesome night of dancing. I drove everyone home at 2:30.
Sunday we had lunch with my parents and then stopped by the new LL Bean store. It’s just overpriced clothing and accessories and not really my cup of tea. We then went to a casting for me for a movie, which I hope I got, and then to home depot. We spent over 3k at home depot. Why? Because we FINALLY purchased our wood flooring which will hopefully be installed labor day weekend if it comes in time.
But that was the weekend. We went home made pasta and vegged out.

Figured I’d update you all on that and how happy I am we finally bought the floor. More mini blogging will commence later. Now that I have the new phone with the blogger app I am hopefully going to use that.

Anyways <3 Mrs. D

A Night In

so as I sit here drinking ny Absolut Brooklyn and gingerale with my scruffy bearded husband watching whale wars I can't stop thinking about ny deep fried twinkie I'm going to eat tomorrow my casting in Sunday and my photoshoot with my bestie in Wednesday. with all this going through my head I realize how lucky I am to have my day job my friends my family and my lovely amaxing husband.

I hope everyone had a wonderful weekend!!!

<3 Mrs. D

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I Want to Beautify the World

I’ve realized that with my best friend following her heart and going back to school to be a nurse and getting her business license to be a photographer, do I really want to do this for the rest of my life? I honestly don’t know. I’ve been craving to be an esthetician. I got my makeup done at Shear Ego for a photo shoot, and the girl who did my facial did my makeup and I kind of wished I was her. It was so much fun and she got to express herself…I honestly think I’m going to do it. I’m think me & Mr. D are going to have a talk.

Btw here is my besties photography site - http://mkbimages.zenfolio.com/


<3 Mrs. D

I Feel Like I Suck

I’ve been feeling discouraged lately. I realize that modeling isn’t my day job, but it’s nice to know if people want to work with you, and want to use you. I’m hoping that being in Rochester Fashion week, will draw more attention and people will want to book me, because right now everything that I go to, for castings, I totally don’t get it. Sucks, but that’s the industry right.

On a good note, my bestie Mica finally got her business license and we’re going to work together so she can build her portfolio. So whatever she wants to shoot we’ll do and visa versa for me.

But yea, it’s a self esteem killer right this whole thing is, and I’m not sure if I need anymore damage to my ego.

That was my rant about how I suck today.


<3 Mrs. D

In a Rut?

Have you ever felt like you’ve been in a rut? I have..well me & Mr. D have. We talked about it, about how we’re in a weekend rut. Going out to the bar every Friday night and watching movies on Saturday night. Just hanging around the house and playing video games or reading on Saturday and the usual cleaning & grocery shopping on Sunday.

We’re sick of it.

We were looking at houses lately and discussed moving to where there wouldn’t be a “rut”. Where there is always something going on, where we can get sushi at 10pm if we wanted to and we can do different things.

So instead of moving, we’re finishing fixing up the house. Our tenant is out, and I’m painting and cleaning and putting down new wood floors and new carpets and decorating like a young Martha Stewart. I say “I’m” because it’s mostly me who’s doing all the updating and furniture shopping.

But besides just updating the house to sell, we’re trying new things. We’ve stopped going out so much, and are having barbeques and beer at the house with our tiki torches. We’re going to the public market on Saturday mornings and walking around the canal and going to car shows. We’re getting out there, seeing the different things that Rochester has to offer, that aren’t the normal every day Rochester things, like walking Park, Monroe and East, and going in all the little shops.

These are getting us out of our rut. Changing up the routine. Trying new things at the market. Finishing the house updates. Just getting out and getting our butts off the couch and hopefully we'll stay in Rochester because of all the "new things" we're doing.

Summer is almost over and fall is going to be here shortly, it’s time we spend as much of it outside as we can.

<3 Mrs. D

hair and makeup for eye candy reckless necklace Rochester fashion week photo shoot

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Party Anyone?

I have realized that I have tons of dresses & no where to wear them. I wish that we had parties, like fancy dress up parties, where you can where a pretty dress and shoes, and get out of the jeans and t-shirt’s. I know that I’ve said this before, but I just want to get out there, and strut my stuff in one of my casual party dresses. I’m tired of people just being blah, show your stuff and get out of the norm.

That’s my PSA for the day. Get out there, strut your stuff, and throw a fancy dress up party!! I know I will be this year, with a costume party, a Christmas party, a birthday party, and prolly every other holiday I can think of. Get out there & get out of your jeans & t-shirts. Even just going to the mall, dress up!

<3 Mrs D.

A Day at the Soccer Field

So yesterday was one of the advertising shoots for Rochester Fashion week. It was a lot of fun. We modeled Reckless Necklace merch & Eye Candy merch. And now I def need to goto Eye Candy, because I LOVED what I was wearing. I have no idea where the shots are going to be posted though and that’s a bummer.
Our hair and makeup was done at Shear Ego in Pittsford and we shot at Paetek Park.
It was a lot of fun, except for the massive heat and humidity and we were modeling fall styles. I hope the shoots turn out good, me and my partner had a lot of fun doing it.

Well I just wanted to share that little piece, and when I figure it out I will post a photo of my hair and makeup from the day…before I went back to work and had to take it all off.

<3 Mrs D.

Incredible?

So my husband and I finally updated our phones after 3 years of getting by with the EnV2 and the Voyager. We both got Incredibles, a choice made while I was drunk on Sangria and he had a 1/3 of a 12 pack in him.

Well they came in, and after failing to start one phone I had to call because the phone I was trying to activate was for Mr D’s number, and apparently that matters. Well we got them both working, and then we both drained the batteries. I charged mine all night and went to work and it sucked. So it was shut off all day, not like I could use it anyways. I work in an office where there is no, absolutely no, cell reception. Which totally blows, but that’s besides the point. I was hoping hey maybe my agent will call and I’ll land a commercial, which she did and I got, but I can’t do it due to the fact that its 12 hours long and I can’t take the whole day off of work. That’s a whole nother side tangent.

Any who I love the phone, it is Incredible. I don’t know how to do pretty much anything besides take photos, message people, tweet or peep, and go on facebook. But it’s pretty cool and the possibilities seem endless. I want to get my blog on there so maybe just maybe I can post photos and videos and update while I’m on the road.

Well besides the battery life I love the phone, and hopefully I’ll figure it all out and get to do everything that I want to do, like manage my crazy life with it, but that will probably take a couple months to figure out.

Lets hope I don’t break it between now and then. 

<3 Mrs. D

Do People Not Like Me??

So I get asked to go to these casting calls for commercials, or advertising, or just modeling things. I go, and I give my all, and the feedback from the people is usually good. Like oh you’re great, I love your look it’s perfect for this, or this that ant he other thing. Do I ever get a call back??

No?

Why? Do I look to young? Do I look to old? Am I not fit enough, or skinny enough? I don’t know. I’m not the perfect package for most, but as least I give it my all.

I hope that someday someone will say she IS perfect for this, and not just bullshit me. Cause that’s the thing that I hate, the bullshitting of oh you’re great, tell me up front, you won’t hurt my feelings, just spit it out that I’m not right for this.

Oh Well. Off to another casting with another no call back.

<3 Mrs. D.

Feeling Like the Joker with the Permanent Smile

So pretty much everyone knows I’ve been dabbling in modeling and doing some casting calls and all that jazz. I’ve also been doing promotions which I find fun, but not as creative and I’ll get into everything later one, but this is just my portfolio expansion and my feelings on it.

Ever since I graduated college I haven’t been able to write or draw, why I have no idea, but I have feelings that I need to express, and I guess that doing this is my way of accomplishing that.

The things I’ve done have been a park shoot, very cutesy smiley floral and pretty pretty. I’ve done a “softer side in a cemetery” where it was cute, but there isn’t a lot of serious stuff, or non smiley stuff, that came out of it. The last photo shoot I’ve done was an implied festish one, where I have yet to see the photos and am furious with the photog and will never in a million years work with that person again.

But out of those I realized, I want to not be so freaking smiley. I want to be edgy and funky, and serious. I want that crazy makeup or the soft serious in the ambient light. That’s what I want, no more smiling.

So I scheduled a shoot, where I won’t be able to smile. No my mouth won’t be taped but it just won’t fit the character. It’s going to be a “Romance Novel Cover” type setting. With the flowy dresses and barefoot in the woods and period makeup, which I still have to figure out. The coolest thing is the final look, with a blood red ball gown gemstones, big fluffy eyelashes and crazy makeup. That’s what I’m hoping it’ll be anyways. Just something different from the smiling faces.

I feel good doing these, expressing myself. I only try to do one free shoot a month, and this one is it for August. I have one lined up for September where it’s visual art, like weird colors and abstract poses and props.

I never want to repeat myself when I do a shoot, and I want to expand my facial expressions along with my range of motion. I want to expand my portfolio and be able to look back and see…look what I did…and maybe some day someone will pay to utilize me.

<3 Mrs. D

It’s Tough to Remember

My last post was May 4th. It’s now August 4th. So I’ve been incognito from blogging for exactly 3 months. That’s not too bad. First my post this morning…or afternoon depending on when I finish writing it, will be about what’s been going on the past 3 months. Then I’ll get into all the goodies that I like to share.

So May – It was mothers day, which came and went with a breeze and we stayed home for once. I started getting more and more into modeling and I realizing all the aspects of it. In-law drama as always came into play. But nothing spectacular

June was father’s day, and that was fun. We stopped and saw my dad and then had a horrible afternoon at my in-laws and Mr. D said he was not coming back for a long long time. I did two promotional gigs, one for Yellowtail and one for Legends of Motorsports. I did 3 photo shoots, just for myself, and I got into photography. I realized that promotional gigs are a lot of fun, and interacting with different people. The photo shoots were a learning experience, being a novice model, I needed to improve and update my portfolio, and that I did, but I wanted more. The photography, I want a better camera plain and simple. But that’s a whole nother post. I have tackled my garden and I love it. I love the side of my house it is so welcoming and warm and next year I will finally tackle the backyard.

July was freaking hot. I worked the Indy car race and that was a blast. I also scheduled a photo shoot for the end of August, for a more serious dramatic look. More in law drama, pretty much we’re sick of the bitching and sick of the complaining and sick of the fact that everyone’s going broke because someone has horrible money management and needs a massive bailout and we’re refusing to help. It was a busy month. Our tenant moved out, I painted the office and put up new curtains downstairs. The Mr. & I saw Kings of Leon and had a blast. And we’ve just been taking everything in stride.

Finally the first 4 days in August. I tried out, and lost, to be in the Rovers Morning Glory Calendar at Bonzai. It was an experience, one that I may never do again but yea. We’re going on our brewery tour with our friends this upcoming weekend, and we finally bought new phones, the Incredibles arrive today. Pretty much we’re not going to the bar as much and we’re trying to shake up our routine.

There’s so much more but I’m going to segregate it into different posts. That was the recap for the last 3 months and I realize I can’t wait so long between posts, because I forget sooo much!

<3 Mrs. D.