I just feel left out lately. Like the kid who wants to come in and plays but no one wants them inside because they smell. Now I know that this isn’t the truth, it’s just how I feel. Its how I’ve always felt. I’ve always been a “me” person, why aren’t you hanging out with “me” why aren’t you talking to “me” why aren’t you friends with “me”. The “me, me, me’s” and of course I’ve always felt like people are snickering behind my back.
It’s just major self esteem problems that I have faced, well since I was about 4 or 5. I cope with it but some days I just get in a pissy funk and can’t shake it as easily.
Like today I miss my friends and I feel like they don’t like me and just hang out with me cause so that’s why they hang out with other people. I know it’s not true and it’s petty but again it’s this crappy funk I’m in.
I want to do the fun stuff their doing with their families, but I don’t have a family besides my husband so I don’t get to do those things.
I want to go out and party, but I don’t have single or coupled friends my age, so that’s out of the question.
My life sucks when I’m in this mood. When I’m feeling lonely and, when I’m pissed at Mr. D. for being a duesche and not letting me watch TV and annoying me or playing video games and ignoring me. It’s all just a circle that never ends and some days I just got to hunker down and pretend I’m not here.
<3 Mrs D
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