Frienemies?

Do I want a frienemy? What is a frienemy? Friday night I agreed to go out for drinks with my friend Mr. A*. I am trying to do what makes me happy and be stress free. So I agreed cause hanging with Mr. A* is fun.

Anyways, he said that we’d have to meet later, and we are. 10pm at Woody’s II. He then told me it would be with a bunch of friends, these friends being Ms. N and her friends. Mr. N & I used to be best friends in high school and have had our differences and have always recovered, even if it took a month or a year we were friends again.

Well 4 years ago we had a falling out, a big one, that I take most of the responsibility for being a floozy and a bitch and just being me at the time and becoming who I am. We both said something’s that were mean and I did something’s that were wrong, utterly wrong, but still at the time I was doing what I do best.

So it’s been 4 years and we’ve only seen each other once since then in passing 2 years ago. I’m really nervous, and Mr. A* said that she said for him to invite me, and I don’t know what to expect. And now the kicker is Mr. A* can’t come, cause he has HW as he’s getting his Masters or MBA, I forgot.

Well I know this is petty and high schoolish, but I’m nervous and anxious and really don’t want drama. I over analyze everything and it’s giving me anxiety. But I would honestly love for her to be back in my life as a friend. She’s even talked with my parents since our falling out.

I’ve talked myself into going still, and I’ve decided if it’s awkward or if something happens I’m leaving as soon as I get there.

But I don’t want us to be frienemies. I don’t want that fakeness. I honestly want a friendship, I just don’t know if she wants one to, or if she never wants to see me again.

We shall see how this goes…and I shall keep you updated….

<3 Mrs. D.