Re Cap

So this was supposed to be about my life. Besides making my goals of house work, my job, my small bickering with Mr. D about more or less sex, kids, family, moving, vehicles, the planning of daily dinners, the total goal of losing weight and liking myself, my dreams, my aspirations, my friends and lack of. What else is there in this little world of mine?
I always wonder what happened to the girl who wrote poetry on a whim and painted and drew so beautiful. I had angst and was an angry depressed teen who needed those things to help vent my feelings.
I’m not angry or depressed or even a teen anymore, I am still low but I have realized I am a beautiful person..who today had a bad tummy ache. I don’t know what to say anymore. I don’t have a poem to write or a burning candle to sketch. The girl who was looking for everlasting love has found it. She no longer draws sappy sketches of teary big eyed damsels.
So growing up is a process and growing old is a pain. We all have to do it someday. Some earlier than others.
I always thought I was mature and smart and wiser beyond my years, but I was just stupid. I was a slut who skateboarded and had blue hair. I thought I was a genius, well I am, but I’m a total moron and a dork.
So this is my life, and my tale with the words I weave I try to find a comfort in venting my daily life, with the little quirks and niches I run into a long the way. No one reads this and no one cares. I don’t cover fashion stories or talk about business. I don’t post photos, because I don’t know how, and I don’t write intelligent quotes.
I’m just me, venting and writing and thinking maybe someday someone will read my dribble and find me interesting.
<3 Mrs. D

Pity?

I have come to the realization over the past week that I am better off not being your friend. I tried to be the bigger person and I grew up and moved on from our discretions and have realized that you have not. You’re still lying, and still fake. And even though you pity me, it should be me that pity’s you.
I have a family, and I have amazing friends, young and old. I have drinking buddies, chilling buddies, gossip buddies and shopping buddies. I have numerous acquaintances that call me a friend and buy me shots.
What do you have? You do have a few close friends, and acquaintances, and a family. But do you have a smiling godson like me, or a loving husband? Do you have a place that you call home and feels warm and welcome? Do you have a flourishing career that makes you so happy? And free time to do what you please?
I have all of that and more. I have what I call “treasures” even though they are just a smiling little boy, or a warm heart to come home to. I feel loved every day, by my closest friends and husband. And I feel so overjoyed that I am pursuing my dream of being a commercial model and having a career in engineering.
I am so happy and I’m not fake. If I don’t like you, I tell you. I don’t smile and nod. If I don’t want to hang out with you, I tell you. I don’t just go and ignore you.
I honestly wanted to hang out with you, and even though you “rain checked” you never had any intention of hanging out with me, or ever becoming my friend.
For that I pity you, for being shallow and fake and not being a true person.

That was my in deep conversation with myself today. I hope you enjoyed it better than the "I love shoes obsession" segment.

<3 Mrs. D

Obsession?

Have I ever told you how much I love shoes? I love shoes!! I do. So much that when Mr D upsets me he buys me a brand new pair of Christian Louboutin’s…I’m so lucky!! Anyways I love shoes, flats, heels, boots, booties, peep toes. You name it I own it. I am especially in love with my fabric booty sandals by Fergie. I feel like a rocker in these puppies. I just needed to shout it. My most prized possessions besides my guns are my shoes and there are some that I will never part with. That’s all.

J Luv Mrs. D